JUser: :_load: Unable to load user with ID: 3364
Thursday, 07 July 2016 00:00

420 Character Reviews: Inside (10.0)

Written by

420 Character Reviews: Inside (10.0)

My heart overflowed with emotion as I played as this tiny child who alone travels through a dystopian world. The oppressed people who pay no mind to anything around them, represent our conformity and apathy, while the hero represents our inner god-given desire to be free. Puzzles represent the obstacles that block our life’s goal of reaching liberation. You must decide if the struggles are worth knowing the truth.

The world of indie gaming is a vast one, and we know that it's easy to get lost in the fray of it all. That's why earlier this year we teamed up with MERRY JANE to bring you the Indie Game Mix Torrent, a series of torrents filled with indie games specifically tailored for stoned gamers.

It seems in recent times that to keep up with consumer demand, more and more derivative works are being shoveled onto the plate of the eager consumer. Theatres are often showcasing more sequels and remakes than original movies at any given time, 'Top 40' pop music hasn’t changed its production and lyrical formulas significantly in nearly a decade, and even user-driven social media seems devoid of original personal content. Facebook, for example, exhibits far less of the self-indulgent narcissism that it attracted and reigned supreme in the early days. That teen angst and lack of self-awareness have long since supplanted by advertisements and the stalest “dank memes” available, as Facebook users have become savvier to the consequences of the former.

Since we've started the trend of bringing you undeniably bad ass things on The Stoned Gamer, there's a chance you already read about Death's Gambit when we discussed it back in February. Since then, Death's Gambit became a PlayStation 4 exclusive and now has the backing of Adult Swim Games. In those few months, the world also lost Prince, Muhammad Ali, Phife Dawg, Kimbo Slice, and Hawk from American Gladiators -- all of those names being equally important. Unrelated? Probably not, stoned gamers. The game is called 'Death's Gambit' for a reason.

Remember that time when I took mushrooms and lost my mind at E3 2016 amidst a sea of VR platforms? Well I sure do -- and two weeks later I'm still grasping with the ramifications of it all. Dipping your mind in a universe of imagination created by others is mentally exhausting in itself, but under psilocybe cubensis it's an experience that is unmistakably life changing.

Wednesday, 29 June 2016 00:00

The Steam Sale Doldrums

Written by

One of the biggest gaming trends of the last few years has been huge, blowout sales that puts players into a blind panic to buy up as much as they possibly can without stopping to think about what they are actually buying. Does anyone really need a third copy of Dishonored? WHO CARES?! IT’S FIVE DOLLARS! At this moment Steam is running their Steam Summer Sale and Sony has had a flash sale on the PSN Store for the past few days with some pretty deep discounts.

Tuesday, 28 June 2016 00:00

420 Character Reviews: Party Hard (9.4)

Written by

420 Character Reviews: Party Hard (9.4)

Sleep deprivation can drive one to do some heinous stuff, or you’re just an asshole. Either way, your neighbors must pay… with their lives. Take the role of a crazed man that can only find peace by stabbing people at parties because they make too much noise. you can’t just go out there and kill without regard -- you’re a gentleman, be stealthy. you only have you knife to rely on. Relieve tension with blood.

I’ll be the first to admit that initially I was excited about Hearts of Stone, then it just kinda fell off for me in a hurry. Technically there was nothing wrong with the Witcher 3 expansion Hearts of Stone, but it just felt like more of the same. I wanted more Witcher 3, but some of the areas felt a bit lacking, never mind that it was just really extending out the map a little bit in one direction and sending you back into familiar places. Blood and Wine, on the other hand, is an entirely new area filled with new kinds of NPCs, a whole new Gwent deck and the Mutagen system is way cooler than the whole rune thing.

I have a theory that humans clandestinely miss working with their hands.

There was an actual moment of worry when I began to contemplate the rise of machines and the downfall of humanity. I assume that this takeover would happen after my body becomes nourishment for Mother Earth but then I reminded myself of President Eden from Fallout 3. Philosophy will destroy the machines. Still, technology rises because we are lazy. We like self-checkout lanes due to the speediness it gives us, but we would rather stores just open more lanes. Why do I want to scan and bag my groceries during a munchie run, Wal-Mart? Humans enjoy being slothful while also maintaining a social life. I am putting full trust in the assumption that our thirst for socializing will be what holds the machines back before philosophy ever becomes a weapon. Not even sex robots stand a chance. Japan, I’m looking at you.

We’ve all seen them. Indie games that seem to pop out of the ether, but every Youtuber seems to have a 'Let's Play' of it. Sure, the content made with the game is entertaining, but it’s usually by virtue of the game being terrible. Games like Five Nights at Freddie’s, Amazing Frog, Trick or Treat, Bear Simulator, and scads of others. They lurk in the dank recesses of Steam’s early access service, and the virtually un-curated underbelly of the Xbox Live Arcade. Sure, it’s a trend that started innocently enough, but it’s getting worse as time goes on.

Tuesday, 07 June 2016 00:00

420 Character Reviews: Broforce (9.3)

Written by

420 Character Reviews: Broforce (9.3)

my supplier of herbal medicine put me onto this game. Not sure how I missed it, but this right here is exactly what you need when you need a dose of the ultra-violence. Not only are the characters parodies of famous action movie stars, the game actually has substance. Different game modes and characters will keep you glued to this title. If you’re ever going to take advice from a drug dealer, now is the time.

The moment I saw the dead baby was the moment I knew Max Payne was one of the great stories of modern day Americana. It was probably one of the first games that I illegally downloaded during the period of my life that I was digital pirate. Before you start to harshly (and unjustly) judge me, just know that I needed to pirate Max Payne. My parents had saved up money to buy us a Compaq PC; asking for a 50lb Xbox was absolutely not an option. Yes, I know that Max Payne was initially released on PC, but so what? I, purposely, tended to be the person who was drawn to the things that weren’t as popular, hence I decided to play Max Payne instead of GTA III. It was basically a life decision. Nobody was talking about the genesis of the Max Payne story. GTA III was the greatest thing that Rockstar Games created -- at least that’s what everyone thought.

When I glance at my profile in Overwatch something becomes abundantly clear to me; I’ve become a support player. I’m usually not too big on support classes in shooters because, if we are real here, they usually aren’t that useful. Sure, tossing down med packs at choke points in Battlefield is fun because you are gonna get a ton of points, the same with reviving a fallen friend in a place where you know he’s just going to get torn to shreds as soon as he’s up again. It’s not about them, it’s about you. That’s why Overwatch is so different.

I’ve been consistently pondering the way of life people lead. I wonder if anything really matters. We could choose to see ourselves as a bacteria that needs to constantly growing, hence, the things that we do. People found out about medicines with the intent to save more lives so that our population could grow. As diseases and infections start to bury us by the thousands, we find an antibiotic to stop that bacteria from killing us. After that, a new bacteria forms and new medicines are created. We live longer and the population grows. Technology grows with us and it's to the point that it has grown beyond us. Once technology eliminates humans, it could, itself, spawn another lifeform. I get so deep into thoughts that in the end it might not even matter. All this could be nothing. Or it could be something. I don’t know but I’ve decided to remain out of the know.

I have a soft spot in my heart for the classic arena shooters. They got me through my middle and high school computer technology classes. I would bring a case of bootleg CDs (and later USB flash drives) with Quake 3, Unreal 2004, and as many mods as I could find for them for test days and substitute teachers. Broadband wasn’t yet the norm, and many of my friends and classmates only experience with competitive online PC gaming came from these sessions. It got to the point where I and five or six others would work ahead in the curriculum so we could perform this ritual regularly. While I have a measure of respect for DOOM, and the reboot has the best story in an FPS I’ve seen in nearly a decade, I was expecting more from the multiplayer.

SGL Players Online

We have 1906 guests and 11 members online

SG Point Leaders

3177 Points
3113 Points
3054 Points
1686 Points
1684 Points
KingBong 420
1220 Points
914 Points
671 Points
671 Points
517 Points
463 Points
433 Points
432 Points
432 Points
432 Points
View Leaderboard

Squad Scores

Pos Team Pl SD Pts
1. Kushstars 0 0
2. Bong Squad 0 0
3. Empire of Fire 0 0
4. Squad SGL 0 0
5. Plant-Based Gamers 0 0
6. Jetsetters 0 0
7. Berkut Gamer Team 0 0
8. Zzyzx 0 0
10. Squad Supercuts 0 0