Saturday, 15 August 2015 00:00

The 2015 Stoned Gamer Tournament at the XO Gold Cup will have a PRO-DRUG policy

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I was sitting in my homeroom when my friend pulled out a handful of small blue pills and asked me if I wanted to try some. The fear of overdosing from mystery pills was overshadowed by my curiosity of what it was actually like to do drugs. I managed to swallow two without water and sat in my chair waiting for some euphoria to hit me, but it didn’t come. Honestly, I waited probably five minutes before asking him for three more pills and took those with water. Little to my knowledge, I had just taken 5 pills of Adderall and once it went through the process of dissolving and running through my organism I became Buddha incarnate. Seriously, I was walking down the halls of Sam Rayburn High School telling all of my friends that life gets better, things that cause us great pain are a part of life, and that true enlightenment is never reached. I even thought about going by Siddhartha Gautama -- after this experience I started to smoke weed. I’d like to ask my old D.A.R.E. officers -- what is the real gateway drug?

Adderall was my the first time I had ever taken any performance enhancing drug, while I do not take it anymore (except once for that Organic Chemistry final), I have moved on to espressos and marijuana.

Well, if you’re thinking about enhancing your gaming experience by consuming any type of celestial entity you better not do it within the Electronic Sports League. They are going to start testing for a plethora of drugs that could make you better at gaming and you will be punished if you are caught. Punishments are going to be decided on a case by case basis, so there is a real life chance that they’ll take your thumbs. I never would have thought that professional gaming would be marred by PEDs but here we are. Does this mean professional gamers are athletes? Absolutely not.

I have fantastic news for all you gamers that don’t want to be held back by some new anti-drug policy by turning your attention to a gaming tournament that has a pro-drug policy. The XO Gold Cup will have the world’s first ever marijuana-friendly gaming tournament that will be hosted by The Stoned Gamer. No, you’re not experiencing some hallucination due to the weed you smoked with that drifter who just wants to be an actor in indie films. You will be tested for cannabis at the 2015 Stoned Gaming Tournament and if you are not medicated you will be tarred, feathered, and shunned. Just kidding, but you will have to take a hit of a wonder plant in order to participate. We are only here to enhance you life through games and ganja -- allow us to do so on October 3 and 4th at the NOS Event Center. More info coming soon, obviously.

Get your tickets to the XO Gold Cup today!

murraycoons795

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